I started this blog a year ago. With this letter to you.
I started writing not because I wanted to, but because people told me I'd want to look back after you'd healed and remember how far you've come. Most days I can't bring myself to read the posts that I wrote back then, because I know they are filled with hurt and anger and sadness and confusion. And even a year out, those feelings are just too fresh for me.
I don't post often here, because we've settled into our 'normal' lives, and there isn't much to update. That doesn't mean that we don't pause every single day to reflect on how lucky we are to have you with us, or how thankful we are that you are so healthy.
I hope that for a parent across the world struggling at the bedside of their child, the posts on your blog will help them find some information from someone who has been where they are. I hope that your smiles documented along the way give a stranger a reason to believe that their baby will be okay, too. I hope that your story, of a brave little fighter will be a testament of strength, and that all things are possible. Most of all, I *hope* that the posts here have left others with a little bit of hope.
There were so many times that I sat by your bedside in the hospital and cried in frustration, and said the words, 'this is just not okay!' Because there is no reason in the world that you should have been that sick. It wasn't fair. You shouldn't have come home for weeks with a failing heart. You shouldn't have been turned away for treatment over and over again and told that there was nothing wrong with you. You shouldn't have gone into total heart failure before someone stopped to listen to what I was saying.
But because of your struggles, because of your tenacity, your display of strength and fight and bravery--even as tiny as you were, you taught us to have faith that we never knew we could. You showed us all that even the most fragile, broken hearts could be repaired.
And you made us all believe in miracles.
We love you, Britta Colise.
OMG, her face! She is just to adorable. Congratulations on your little fighter :)
ReplyDeleteI remember those moments, the minutes and hours. Kneeling at my bed, begging God to have mercy. The faith to believe that she could and would defy the odds. He had chosen her. He loved her. And He somehow had a plan that I struggled to understand. I wanted so desperately to make a difference, to be a comforter in the darkest hours to one of my life-long best friends and her family. But the only thing this beautiful family truly needed was the one thing that I had no power to change. Another day; the gift of life.
ReplyDeleteBritta: You are so stinking cute. I am so grateful for your life, you are so courageous and brave! You inspire me to never give up. And I know you'll continue to make a difference. Treasure you miracle girl. You bless me big. Love you oh so much. And your cute family too.
She's lovely. An quite a fighter.
ReplyDeleteGod bless you, Britta. What a fighter and what a sweet angel of a little girl.
ReplyDeleteUsing an i-Phone, she's practically a teenager already! This blog has brought me to tears many times, so glad they are happy ones this time. Thank you for sharing this journey, Stephanie, I hope it has the impact you imagine for another family needing hope.
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