Britta is continuing to recover at a slow but steady pace. We've had a few hiccups, but nothing too major. But I've been having a tough time dealing, I guess. There are days when all I want is for someone to understand and to say, "I know how you feel..." but then there are others, where hearing that feels like a huge slap in the face. It makes me want to scream, NO YOU DON'T!
You didn't watch them work to bring your daughter back from the dead in front of you.
You don't have a daughter recovering from heart surgery.
Your daughter hasn't spent more of her life in the hospital than outside of one.
You don't have a Hailey, Liam and Finn that you miss so terribly it keeps you up at night.
You're entire life hasn't been completely turned upside down.
You can run errands without being scared to leave a two-mile radius of the hospital in case they call with an emergency.
You still have control over your house. Your kids routines. Helping them with homework. Snuggling with them before bed. You still have control over ANYTHING.
I know that it sounds like a temper tantrum. Whatever. That's how I feel. I'm not trying to whine. I'm not looking for sympathy. I'm thankful. So, so thankful that my daughter is alive and recovering. But it is still so difficult to have so little control over your life and your family. To have to stand on the outside and sit by helpless in your own world....
Still, this face makes accepting these things little easier...
I don't know how you feel. At all. But I do know that I'm in awe of your strength and honesty. I'm glad to see another picture of little Britta looking alert and beautiful.
ReplyDeleteThank you, Brenda. Your comment was exactly what I needed. :)
DeleteI feel like all I continue to say is, "I'm so sorry" and it feels like the simplest, most ridiculous thing to say because it doesn't DO anything. I don't know how you feel, but like Brenda said, I'm in awe of you.
ReplyDeleteThank you for sharing another picture. I love looking into those little eyes.
How bout this... We have no idea how u feel. And never will because no situation will ever be exactly the same. But uniquely in our own lives we have reached down to see what could possibly compare to this because this is so amazingly difficult to understand, that we are grasping at straws to even be able to fathom ur situation. We actually have no idea how u make it day to day. But are inspired by ur family and brittas strength. Thank u for sharing ur journey and please know no matter how we reach out to u, we are trying to be supportive but words, money and well wishes just all fall short, we all wish we could do more :(. God bless steph. Keep fighting britta !!!
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